Finding Purpose In Life: The True Question To Ask Yourself

The road to finding purpose in life for a man it’s not as linear as you might think, in fact all the opposite, it’s rocky, impervious and packed with obstacles, but there are ways you can simplify it if you have a certain degree of maturity and today we’re looking at exactly that.

Finding Your Purpose In Life: The Harsh Reality

Now, let me break it for you right off the bat: if you think that your finding your purpose in life is something that will magically align and manifest and appear in front of your eyes as a vision or as a revelation with a word from God…that’s probably not going to happen, these kind of people are not me or you, they’re the exception, but if you are one of these people, great! but this article isn’t for you.

The rest of us have to go through more palpable struggles decorated with trials, errors, and lots of failures and false idols, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just more work. Now, finding purpose in life doesn’t have to feel like a divine crusade because in reality, it’s very materialistic and you should see it simply as something you want to accomplish, for starters…and that’s when you will have planted the seed, the foundations for a mission to possibly become a purpose later on in life.

You won’t know what kind of seed you have planted until it grows into something, and that’s exactly how it works…so, what’s the question you should ask yourself?

“What do I NEED to do?”Man questioning about finding purpose in life

This question will naturally point your psyche towards the thing you know is of most urgency at the moment in your life and that’ll automatically improve your situation once is taken care of,  you can consider this the first step towards…creating your purpose.

That’s right.

Nobody goes out “finding its purpose in life” thinking its purpose is like finding some gold pot at the end of a rainbow, magically. Your purpose is something that you BUILD, constantly, shaped by your decisions and ability to adapt and always looking for the best. That’s why the question is “What do I need to do” and not “Where do I need to look”, because as humans, we constantly need to build ourselves and smooth off rough edges…and it’s natural that our purpose works the same way.

So, now that you know that your purpose must be built you can take various courses of action, for example (I strongly advise you try this) you could try your hand in various endeavors to gauge what you might be prone to like and enjoy. The strategy is to go out there and do as many (useful, mind you, we don’t like superficial stuff here) things as possible that’ll enrich yourself and your skills—and your character so you gain some sort of mastery or acquaintance over something.

Doing this not only will expand your horizons and give you new and fresh perspectives, but it will also give you a SENSE OF POSSIBILITY. Knowing what you can (and want) to do is of incredible importance when trying to build your purpose. Another way you could tackle this is to instead pick a thing you REALLY like to do and focus on that solely (this might yield fewer rewards in growth but it’s still an option) becoming a true master of your craft could then trigger something, a deep sense of “I’ve done everything I had to do here, what’s next for me”?

In the end, finding your purpose in life it’s really about creating, building it brick by brick until it starts having a semblance of something in your mind, something that makes sense for you.

The Importance Of Values & How A Man MUST Live By Them

In a world where everything’s in constant movement, and nothing is certain, being able to anchor one’s self to something unchanging and grounded could prove of real help when navigating through the stormy sea that is life, that’s when the importance of values come into play.

The Importance Of Values In a Man’s Life

To understand the great role that values play in a Man’s life (or in every decent person’s life, really) we must first learn to recognize them for what they are and what purpose they serve, and this is not implied because nowadays they’re seen as “controversial” or simply as a baggage to dispose of, hence their true meaning is lost and misunderstood by those who compromise the latter in honor of “progress” or as a way to remove limits on one’s self, while in reality, they’re actively placing a chain around their neck without knowing.

So, what are values?

Simply put, values are guidelines—or better, a set of rules by which a man should live by as faithfully as possible, all for the purpose of not making him lose his way throughout life and what he holds dear, they’re something you can rely on because they’ve been set in stone before emotions have the chance to cloud your judgment, and throw you off-center. You can see values as a compass.

Why are values important?The importance of values and faith, a buddha sculpture

The importance of values is something that will vary depending on the person you’re talking to, as I’ve said before, some consider them as a weight ready to be thrown off-ship when they deem right or when they no longer serve their narrative, while others steadily live by them, and honor them.

To make you understand the importance of values, we need to talk about conviction. When you BELIEVE in something and its righteousness you’ll do all that’s in your power to make that thing shine, whether is a side of your personality, or a matter you’re truly invested in.

Since values require a strong belief to be held in the first place, you can see that by sticking to them you automatically are required to have a strong will for you to respect and follow them, this means that you’re a person with substance and you have a strong willpower and resolve to stand for what you believe in, this is a positive side-effect of having values, that value-less people don’t have. This is important because faith and the ability to fight for something you deem just (even when others openly shun you and despise you for doing so) is of utmost importance, be it for the sake of coherence or for the sheer love and significance that comes for treasuring such values.

This conviction spurs from a desire to truly BE BETTER and to uphold and follow this moral compass of yours, a thing like this can’t possibly bring anything but a high ROI when it comes to positive things.

Some stupid but effective examples to make you understand the importance of values could be:

  • Pride/Honor: A complete lack of these values will lead to low self-esteem and a lack of the ability to stand up for yourself in life. An abundance of it could lead you astray if you’re not careful, since people will prey on this weakness.
  • Respect: If you don’t value earned respect, and overall respect for your fellow humans, no matter their background or opinions, you’re not to be taken seriously.
  • Loyalty: If you’re not loyal to something or someone in your life you’ll be a slave to every single new thing that pulls your hand. Lacking this value makes you an untrustworthy little b!@#h.

And I could go on and on and on in listing examples to make you understand the importance of values but the meat & potatoes of it all is that having values GIVES YOU SOMETHING…VALUABLE (Pay no attention to the pun) in order to live your life in accordance to things that bring balance and in order with something tangibly positive.

Another reason why they are important is that by having them, as a byproduct you naturally have higher standards. Whether we’re talking about the people you accept in your life, the things you tolerate and the things you don’t, and this is good because for starters you don’t settle with mediocrity or with things that are not aligned with these values of yours, you know where you stand and what works best for you to have the most “good for you” life.

How to live by your values

Now, as humans, we’re not perfect and there will be times when we’ll lose sight of what’s really important and take a wrong step, but especially as a man, this is NOT an excuse to forsake your values. You ALWAYS have the chance to right your wrongs, as long as you’re adamant about not repeating those mistakes ever again, and I’m telling you this because as a man, your values shouldn’t be something you compromise on.

A part of a man’s being is to be UNWILLING to sell his soul for an instant of pleasure at the cost of what he believes in, since that’s the exact moment when you’ll stop being a man. Caving into the madness of others is something you should leave to everyone else, you need to be always calm, ready to take action and make your stand. But don’t think you have much room for error, in fact, you don’t.

We can make mistakes, sure, but every single mistake happens ONCE, after it took place you supposedly learn from it and NEVER MAKE IT AGAIN.

In the end, living by a set of values it’s not easy and is not for everyone but by doing so you’ll have the advantage of being grounded like an old Oak, and the privilege to rely on something that works, that others don’t. Your fists will not be “light” and without a meaning behind them.

How To Persevere & (Maybe) Succeed When The Odds Are Stacked Against You

If I have learned something about succeeding in my short journey as an entrepreneur is that very little goes as planned, today I’m going to condense in a few points what has worked for me when it comes to succeeding in your endeavors even when the chances are not in your favor.

1) Good Old Hard Work

If nothing works, hard work will!

Everyone says that this is obvious and trite as advice, yet they all downplay it and when it comes down to doing the nitty-gritty of the work they’ll instead choose avoidance and the comfort of their no risk zone in which they’ll slouch and do NOTHING.

“Oh yeah hard work I know, it’s always the same stuff, you’re not giving any real advice” you’ll say with your little chubby cheeks and your dead eyes.

And they even start wondering why they’re not going forward in life with that monotone, lazy attitude, guess what, nobody is going to give you what you want in life unless you take it with your own two hands, and this holds especially true when you’re coming from a place of scarcity and misfortune, the worse your situation, the harder you need to work, you better hammer it into your head if you want to go somewhere.

Hard work is not thinking really hard about something *YOU THINK* you want but you’re not willing to work for, everyone finds cool the idea of succeeding (getting rich, a new house, a new car, finding glory and fame ecc…) but no one wants to take on their shoulders the immense pressure and the amount of work and pain that comes with it, the cold reality though is that hard work is the basis for all kind of success, everything else comes as something you build on it.

Hard work is consisted of but is not limited to:

  • Repetition of said work
  • Sleepless nights
  • Sweat, tears and blood
  • No results
  • Thousands of hours spent
  • Sacrifice

Succeeding doesn’t sound so sexy anymore, does it? Still in it? If so read on otherwise go home because it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

2) Understand Where You’re At

Now, when the odds are against you in your quest to success you need to acknowledge your starting point, whether you’re from a poor family, you lack experience or qualifications in a certain area or anything else that is not working in your favor…the first thing you need to do is to draw a picture of your situation and what you can exploit about the uniqueness of it (even if it’s bad, yes).

Then you have to be at peace with how things are right now, BUT have the will to change them, since you can’t waste time being upset with how things are, yet you cannot afford yourself to think that you are not able to change things, ditch this victim mindset and always strive for better without holding onto the bad and instead by being grateful and positive. By doing that you’re already setting yourself apart from 90% of population who’s just about focusing on negativity and wishful thinking.

3) Block & Outplay The Noise

One of the things you will have to learn to NOT pay attention to in order to succeed, is the noise and the criticism moved by jealousy or pure hatred that’ll come from people. Given your background and present challenges there will be people (even upfront or behind your back) that will try to pull you down with comments about how you don’t have what it takes to do what you want to do, and that’s fine.

And that’s because only YOU know the hand you’ve been dealt with, the challenges you have and had to overcome in order to be where you want to be, so why should you care about some nobodies spouting nonsense from their mouths? you’ve been through worse than that already anyway, don’t let them shake you one bit and leave them speechless with your actions.

Resilience and indifference is the name of the game.

When pursuing higher and meaningful visions, whether you were or weren’t lucky in your upbringing or in life, do like this: envision you and your goal in a pitch black darkness, with the reflectors pointed right and only at you both. Only you and your purpose exist in that darkness, everything else going on is just chatter and must fade in comparison of the greatness you’re aiming to.

4) Don’t Be Your Worst Enemy

Your Self has the potential to be your worst enemy or your greatest ally, but scores of people end up falling prey to a kind of impostor syndrome that spurs from their past not being riddled with incredible achievements, this holds especially true when you always felt like you’ve been dealt with the shorter end of the stick. 

This is wrong and you have to burn this way of thinking, not just because you are not—first and foremost, defined by your past, but also because you’re consciously (or subconsciously) using this as an excuse to not succeed by putting labels on yourself and what you are able or not able to accomplish.

 

You’ve Been Using Self Improving Wrong: How To Improve The Right Way

One of the most important tools you have at your disposal to renew yourself as a human is definitely Self Improving. The problem is that the majority of people misuse it and they make it become something different, they turn this incredible ability to change one’s self in their downfall.

How come? And how do you do “self improving the right way”? Let me explain.

I’ve previously mentioned and (briefly) talked about self improving in a post recognizing the trap that is fake improvement , that made you aware of the staleness that could come with it, but today the focus lies in HOW to correctly use this weapon you have at your disposal, because it’s a double-edged sword after all.

Self Improving Is NOT The End Goal

This is one of the most common mistakes that people make while going on the journey to better themselves, yet it is the easiest to avoid as well. What they’ll do is that they become so centered on the self-help culture and the task to “be better every day” that they end up forgetting the very reason they started to improve themselves in the first place, just for the sake of improving.

How useless is that? they lose sight of the thing that made them want to be better, and just fall into a zombie state that (in their eyes) justifies the countless hours and years they’re spending into perfecting sides of themselves that may not need improving anymore – they’re missing the point, self-improvement should be used to achieve self-mastery , which is a VERY different thing than just smoothing off edges of your current self you don’t need, for an extended period of time (since that by doing exactly this you’ll be a jack of all trades and master of none).

Keep the goal in sight, while actively self improving, don’t become a passive zombie on autopilot!

Progress Or Regress

There are actually TWO DIRECTIONS which this adventure of yours can take:

It either brings you fruits and results, or it makes your efforts wither away, there is no way in between.  Remember, if you find yourself wavering between these two things it means that you are doing something wrong, DO NOT TRUST people who says something like this with the sake of imposing a fake positivity on you: “It doesn’t matter as long as you are doing your best”

FALSE.

Because if you’re doing your best but still not seeing any semblance of results, YOU ARE NOT IMPROVING, therefore, you’re doing something wrong. Do your best while not using your current limits as a facade to not achieve results.

The Right Way

So how do you finally do self improving the right way?

Ok, let’s understand the basic concept first: you start self improving because there is something that you currently do not like about yourself OR because you need to be better in some aspects in order to get to a certain place in life, these two are the most common reasons.

Now, somewhere in between this all, you messed up your approach, but worry not, you can still get back on the horse, but before we move to the right way to do self improving…understand that:

You May Have a Bias You’re Not Willing To Let Go

And this bias can come in different shapes and it can wear different masks so it can be tricky to spot, now this comparison is not mine but i’ve first read it in Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and i think is a very good comparison to make in this case, it goes somewhat like: “If you’re trying to get out of a maze without the right map how are you ever supposed to reach the end of it?”

Sure, you can eventually find the exit from the maze even without it but it’ll have consumed the hell out of you in terms of pain and wasted time to do so, wouldn’t you rather have that map at your disposal?

The map in this case is your perception of things, your personal way and convictions you have and use to navigate life. So you need to continuosly challenge those convictions and beliefs before you can use the right way, which consists in constantly breaking your current way of seeing things in order to make space for an increasingly larger awareness of reality, of how things really are.

The rule of thumb here is to discard that which is no longer needed and of no use, without letting go of the good you’ve found to be working for YOU. See your self improving journey, see yourself as a statue in need of chipping here and there before is finally completed.

Remember, if you find yourself unable to let go of whatever thing (bias) you’ve picked up along the road, be it a mindset, an opinion, a rigid way of doing things, a habit or an emotional archetype… you’re doomed to fail. Correct self improving requires you to be an adaptable, flexible human being in every aspect you can think of…and every aspect you CANNOT think of, the most.

That’s why so many people give up halfway, because in all honesty, not everyone is suited to really let go of their figurative luggage, it’s hard and it involves A LOT of change and uncertainty- to the point that one person might even start questioning if this is really the way to go- since he or she changed so much that became unrecognizable.

I hope this helped you clear some doubts you were currently going through, take care now.