This is a more introspective post that hopefully can give you more insight on how to deal with failure and its consequential (awful) feelings- if you’re in that stage. Read on, discouraged bucko!
Now, i don’t want to make this look extreme, but…
I AM Failure incarnated.
And that’s a disclaimer on why YOU shouldn’t beat up yourself too much because of whatever happened to you.
And before i give you practical stuff on how to handle this gnawing and self-blaming feeling, let me show you why i say I AM FAILURE (By society’s standards, at least) so you know a little bit more about good ol’ mysterious me too.
Never finished school and was considered a black sheep by everyone (Yes even family) around me.
Countless jobs to which i applied to- shot me down.
When i saved up money to attend my dream academy, for my dream carreer (A game-development one) I was up to the task JUST BARELY, but i stopped because i felt i couldn’t keep up with the 2nd year. = Wasted (but not really) time, energy and money.
And i could list another 20 things plus more hard personal stuff i was going through. But i don’t want to make this post about ME.
But about YOU. But first, how did i reacted to all of this?
Did i break down at some point? yes. Did i cry? …probably. (keeping it vague for the sake of my manliness) Did i ever feel like i was not enough? you bet. Did i ever got help of any kind from anyone? hell fucking NO
But even in the hopeless state of mind in which i was (and believe me- times were really hopeless), my spark, in the end, never went out.
Why? Because, at some point, my whole being came to a realization.
The failures i’ve experienced and i’m still experiencing DO NOT define me.
Instead, they polish me, they are a test from life to see if i’m FIT to reach my dreams. And that is TRUE FOR YOU, TOO.
Take this analogy as an example:
Do you know how a Blacksmith forges a Sword?
By POUNDING it, over and over again – to get rid of all impurities, So that in the end the sword becomes sharp, and serves a Purpose.
It’s useless as a mere piece of Iron.
And That’s HOW it works when you’re trying to build yourself.
You NEED to be clobbered, in this case, by life.
And trust me, I know.
The feelings that come after failing so many times are unbearable and can take a heavy toll on your mind, body and spirit.
You start questioning yourself, your abilities, your whole point when it comes to your existence.
Now, this might sound clichè- and i think it is- but it’s a very good way of seeing things:
Use your failures as stepping stones.
But careful, i’m not saying that failing it’s everything you should do, like failure, success is also a Teacher.
Although you can’t really control it, you should get your lessons from both your failures AND successes.
They both teach you something different.
When you fail,
reflect on your failures, don’t discount them. I said reflect, not mourn over them.
Learn something from them, what is it that you could have done differently? Take notes. Be active. Re-build your strategy. Don’t feel defeated.
When you succeed, Also take notes. Why is it that i have succeded this time? How can i replicate this, in an even better way next time?
Don’t be complacent when you do succeed.
ALWAYS do better. Both in defeat & victory.
But… what about regret, you say?
Regret shouldn’t really have a place in your heart. Because unlike failures, regret actually STOPS you in your tracks.
Failures make you evolve, Regret makes you complacent, and devolve, even.
It’s the thing that WON’T let you move forward. A useless feeling, A trickster, A plague, Death.
Regret must be replaced with something that shines, something pure… like Resolve.
Its complete opposite.
As soon as possible.
Because regret only comes when you’ve accepted failures and defeat as your way of living. That is why you have the DUTY to avoid going down to that path.
For that path is dark, muddy and filled with desperation and decay.
You owe it to your success, to your happiness, and ultimately- to your life.
If you’ve enjoyed this post and you have any questions i can answer, please like it and comment down below. I’d be happy to help to the best of my abilities.
Their distortion of what a man should be makes you sick and makes you wonder where we’re coming to.
And that’s understandable.
The reason for this is because you still have values and standards, something they don’t have.
You realize that being a Man it’s not easy, it’s not something you can really explain, is it?
After all, we don’t have it easy since the day we’re born.
And that’s how it should be. Embrace the pain, the discomfort, for that is how we thrive.
A man doesn’t look for attention, Nor recognition. A man is a silent mountain that carries the ones he loves, Weathers the cutting gales, While doing what’s right and just, Unmovable, Relentless, Stands up with pride.
Now, you might say: “V, that title seems a little too extreme!” but that’s where i say…
And the reason is because everyone is meant to DO SOMETHING on this planet. See it like this: Settling is like playing Tetris without even trying to make the pieces fall in the right place, and as extent, to win.
Tell me WHY a person would want that. Why would someone want to feel contempt with that low-paying job, that toxic relationship they’re in, that ugly wife… i can’t understand.
You get one shot at life, and you dare not to shoot for the moon? how boring is that! let that sink in, you really want to spend your life as a nobody and let that childhood dream of yours die like that? you are more than that. You see: it’s not an exaggeration when i say it’s like committing suicide-because you’re selling yourself low, discarding your potential-what could you be…right form the start. You are not even giving yourself the chance to change your situation.
Please, Give it some thought.
Sure, it will be really hard but…will it be harder than arguing every day with that ugly person\people in your life? will it be harder than enduring your boss yelling and laughing at you every day of your life? hell no, build that business! ditch that person! grasp that freedom!
Would you rather have no time to spend with your loved ones because you’re working 24\7 or would you rather expand and automate that business so your life transforms in your leisure time?
MAKE A CHANGE!
Workout and eat healthy so you can finally be damn happy with that new and strong body of yours, and if you need a useful assistant for this i can recommend this SUPER affordable and awesomeFitness Tracker which i’m sure it will come in handy in your fitness journey. In this way you’re helping yourself (and me, since i make something out of it) getting better and “recorded” results. Remember, why suffer and be unhappy for a lifetime when you can choose to suffer and be happy for SOMETHING, which is bettering your condition instead of suffering for something that it’s dragging you into the abyss day-after-day? A strong mind can’t be maintained without a strong body.
And if you’d like some advice you can contact me and i’ll be at your disposal to help you to the best of my coaching abilities.
Choose wisely because the last thing you want is to be stuck eternally with your bad decisions and regrets. But be aware that nobody is coming to save you, nobody will put in the hard work, the sacrifices and the sleepless nights that are needed to change your life for the better. You will have to rely on yourself only. But oh will it be worth it once you’re adamant about it! lifelong happiness instead of daily depression? total freedom? you tell me about it.
You’re meant to be so much more-but the sad reality is that people have long given up even before they’re given themselves a chance at that something…society is programmed in a way that locks people hopes and dreams up, makes you addicted to the useless, bombards you with fake information and instills that “sheep” mentality onto every single one of us.
It’s obvious that people nowadays rather to keep their heads down and don’t even dare dream, everything is filled with insecurity and doubt and negativity. They’ve taken it all out of us! but it’s our-your, job to get it all back.
DON’T THINK THIS IS THE NORM. FEELING SAD AND UNHAPPY IT’S NOT HOW LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
So get out there and start making changes from today, create your dream life and never look back, because all you’re going to see if you do look back it’s something that has always ensnared man: ruthless emotional slavery.