Finding Purpose In Life: The True Question To Ask Yourself

The road to finding purpose in life for a man it’s not as linear as you might think, in fact all the opposite, it’s rocky, impervious and packed with obstacles, but there are ways you can simplify it if you have a certain degree of maturity and today we’re looking at exactly that.

Finding Your Purpose In Life: The Harsh Reality

Now, let me break it for you right off the bat: if you think that your finding your purpose in life is something that will magically align and manifest and appear in front of your eyes as a vision or as a revelation with a word from God…that’s probably not going to happen, these kind of people are not me or you, they’re the exception, but if you are one of these people, great! but this article isn’t for you.

The rest of us have to go through more palpable struggles decorated with trials, errors, and lots of failures and false idols, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just more work. Now, finding purpose in life doesn’t have to feel like a divine crusade because in reality, it’s very materialistic and you should see it simply as something you want to accomplish, for starters…and that’s when you will have planted the seed, the foundations for a mission to possibly become a purpose later on in life.

You won’t know what kind of seed you have planted until it grows into something, and that’s exactly how it works…so, what’s the question you should ask yourself?

“What do I NEED to do?”Man questioning about finding purpose in life

This question will naturally point your psyche towards the thing you know is of most urgency at the moment in your life and that’ll automatically improve your situation once is taken care of,  you can consider this the first step towards…creating your purpose.

That’s right.

Nobody goes out “finding its purpose in life” thinking its purpose is like finding some gold pot at the end of a rainbow, magically. Your purpose is something that you BUILD, constantly, shaped by your decisions and ability to adapt and always looking for the best. That’s why the question is “What do I need to do” and not “Where do I need to look”, because as humans, we constantly need to build ourselves and smooth off rough edges…and it’s natural that our purpose works the same way.

So, now that you know that your purpose must be built you can take various courses of action, for example (I strongly advise you try this) you could try your hand in various endeavors to gauge what you might be prone to like and enjoy. The strategy is to go out there and do as many (useful, mind you, we don’t like superficial stuff here) things as possible that’ll enrich yourself and your skills—and your character so you gain some sort of mastery or acquaintance over something.

Doing this not only will expand your horizons and give you new and fresh perspectives, but it will also give you a SENSE OF POSSIBILITY. Knowing what you can (and want) to do is of incredible importance when trying to build your purpose. Another way you could tackle this is to instead pick a thing you REALLY like to do and focus on that solely (this might yield fewer rewards in growth but it’s still an option) becoming a true master of your craft could then trigger something, a deep sense of “I’ve done everything I had to do here, what’s next for me”?

In the end, finding your purpose in life it’s really about creating, building it brick by brick until it starts having a semblance of something in your mind, something that makes sense for you.

You’ve Been Using Self Improving Wrong: How To Improve The Right Way

One of the most important tools you have at your disposal to renew yourself as a human is definitely Self Improving. The problem is that the majority of people misuse it and they make it become something different, they turn this incredible ability to change one’s self in their downfall.

How come? And how do you do “self improving the right way”? Let me explain.

I’ve previously mentioned and (briefly) talked about self improving in a post recognizing the trap that is fake improvement , that made you aware of the staleness that could come with it, but today the focus lies in HOW to correctly use this weapon you have at your disposal, because it’s a double-edged sword after all.

Self Improving Is NOT The End Goal

This is one of the most common mistakes that people make while going on the journey to better themselves, yet it is the easiest to avoid as well. What they’ll do is that they become so centered on the self-help culture and the task to “be better every day” that they end up forgetting the very reason they started to improve themselves in the first place, just for the sake of improving.

How useless is that? they lose sight of the thing that made them want to be better, and just fall into a zombie state that (in their eyes) justifies the countless hours and years they’re spending into perfecting sides of themselves that may not need improving anymore – they’re missing the point, self-improvement should be used to achieve self-mastery , which is a VERY different thing than just smoothing off edges of your current self you don’t need, for an extended period of time (since that by doing exactly this you’ll be a jack of all trades and master of none).

Keep the goal in sight, while actively self improving, don’t become a passive zombie on autopilot!

Progress Or Regress

There are actually TWO DIRECTIONS which this adventure of yours can take:

It either brings you fruits and results, or it makes your efforts wither away, there is no way in between.  Remember, if you find yourself wavering between these two things it means that you are doing something wrong, DO NOT TRUST people who says something like this with the sake of imposing a fake positivity on you: “It doesn’t matter as long as you are doing your best”

FALSE.

Because if you’re doing your best but still not seeing any semblance of results, YOU ARE NOT IMPROVING, therefore, you’re doing something wrong. Do your best while not using your current limits as a facade to not achieve results.

The Right Way

So how do you finally do self improving the right way?

Ok, let’s understand the basic concept first: you start self improving because there is something that you currently do not like about yourself OR because you need to be better in some aspects in order to get to a certain place in life, these two are the most common reasons.

Now, somewhere in between this all, you messed up your approach, but worry not, you can still get back on the horse, but before we move to the right way to do self improving…understand that:

You May Have a Bias You’re Not Willing To Let Go

And this bias can come in different shapes and it can wear different masks so it can be tricky to spot, now this comparison is not mine but i’ve first read it in Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and i think is a very good comparison to make in this case, it goes somewhat like: “If you’re trying to get out of a maze without the right map how are you ever supposed to reach the end of it?”

Sure, you can eventually find the exit from the maze even without it but it’ll have consumed the hell out of you in terms of pain and wasted time to do so, wouldn’t you rather have that map at your disposal?

The map in this case is your perception of things, your personal way and convictions you have and use to navigate life. So you need to continuosly challenge those convictions and beliefs before you can use the right way, which consists in constantly breaking your current way of seeing things in order to make space for an increasingly larger awareness of reality, of how things really are.

The rule of thumb here is to discard that which is no longer needed and of no use, without letting go of the good you’ve found to be working for YOU. See your self improving journey, see yourself as a statue in need of chipping here and there before is finally completed.

Remember, if you find yourself unable to let go of whatever thing (bias) you’ve picked up along the road, be it a mindset, an opinion, a rigid way of doing things, a habit or an emotional archetype… you’re doomed to fail. Correct self improving requires you to be an adaptable, flexible human being in every aspect you can think of…and every aspect you CANNOT think of, the most.

That’s why so many people give up halfway, because in all honesty, not everyone is suited to really let go of their figurative luggage, it’s hard and it involves A LOT of change and uncertainty- to the point that one person might even start questioning if this is really the way to go- since he or she changed so much that became unrecognizable.

I hope this helped you clear some doubts you were currently going through, take care now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Destroy Laziness Forever & Finally be a Good Human Being

How do you dispel the curse that is laziness? this question is always met with no answer whatsoever and dismissed by people as something they’re “just are” lazy, that is.

Today I’m here to tell you that this could not be further from the truth.

Let’s see how to destroy your laziness right away!

Let us start to define what laziness is since y’all think is some kind of magic curse you are damned with. Laziness is A STATE OF BEING, it can even be coupled with comfort though they’re essentially different.

Why do I say that is a state of being? well, for starters, you are not born naturally lazy, you become it over time, And this ends up affecting your whole life later on. As human beings, we were not meant to stay with our ass plastered to our chairs the whole fucking day eating chips and wasting the entirety of our lives on Netflix.

We were instead meant to hunt, go fishing, cover incredibly long and tortuous paths by feet and fend for ourselves from environmental dangers.

So it makes sense saying that laziness wasn’t a conceivable option in the past since you’d die very quickly if you were affected by it, but it STILL shouldn’t be an option because you’re putting your life in danger by being lazy, even if you’re not chased by a tyrannosaurus.

The only thing that’s different is that in our modern way of living, society has made laziness commonplace and labeled it as “normal” when it isn’t normal AT ALL.

So, how do you finally destroy laziness and start living?

Before I can answer that question you have to understand from where your laziness originates. But generally speaking, a lazy person is usually a slob that has nothing interesting nor exciting going on in their life and that absence of PURPOSE is the most common source of laziness.

Though it can spark from a variety of other reasons (i.e. Some kind of trauma that pushed the person into a static state, procrastination emerged from an unwillingness to face problems head on, etc…) laziness is something you could have avoided, but you just didn’t bother to.

Once you’ve pinpointed the origin of your laziness the next steps will be much easier.You can now start tackling the matter…

What do you do now?

The easiest thing you can start with is to get back in touch with a specific moment in the past in which you WEREN’T lazy. Start with visualizing what your daily “routine” was like and try to take as much positive, productive things as you can from the you of the past.

In this way you’re not adding new habits but just taking old ones back into your life, in this way you’ll be already familiar with them.

Now hopefully you have something nice and nostalgic from the past that reminded you of the feeling of being somewhat of use, and you feel less like a slob, amazing!

But this of course is not enough, you’ll have to take things to a whole ‘nother level.

Step 2: Get out of your safe bubble

Since laziness springs out of comfort, the next logical step here is to ditch EVERYTHING that can apply even an inch of laziness onto you, so you can forcefully switch mindset and lifestyle. The goal here is to distanciate yourself from every chance of “doing nothing” and replace it with something that propels you forward.

This is the perfect time to instill an objective, a big goal, A PURPOSE into your head, once you’ve freed yourself from useless time-wasting gimmicks you’ll need something to fill your time with so you won’t fall back into that trap again.

Don’t be bland, set your eyes on something big and valuable for yourself, remember, this will have to take most if not all the time from your days. So there’s no need to go half-assed on this, go wild and think of something you (think) you can’t do.

By doing this you will prevent yourself from wasting time while accomplishing stuff on a day-to-day basis. There will be NO ROOM for laziness if you’re really committed to what you want to realize, trust me.

Fantastico!

You are now officially on your merry way to say goodbye to laziness forever! but you mustn’t let your grip loosen since laziness is a sneaky bastard and can re-emerge when you least expect it. Especially if you’ve struggled with it for the majority of your life, it’ll be hard but you cannot afford to concede to your old, complacent self.

Remember, if there’s ACTION in your life laziness will automatically be kept at bay since it all revolves around you doing something and not letting yourself be swayed by today’s comfortable and addicting way of “living”.

That’s all there is to it, really.

If you have enjoyed this article take the time to share it with your friends and tell me what you think about it.

 

 

 

What’s Impossible? The Lies YOU Tell Yourself.

I have a little piece of paper that I’ve cut out from a dictionary and attached to my monitor with the word “Impossible” on it.

I’ve always hated this word since it filled me with a feeling of uneasiness. Something that can’t be done, no matter how hard I try I will fail, so why bother in the first place?

“What the fuck!”  I thought.  “This is not right, I should be able to make of my life whatever the hell I want!”

But not everything is possible, right? hence the word impossible. Well, no, not even close.

You see, when I was cutting off that word from the dictionary it felt like taking the very meaning of impossible and removing it from my (mental) dictionary. Why should someone, why should YOU live this life with such a limiting word in your head?

It’s crazy to even think about that word when you just have this life at your disposal.

But I know that this is not the only thing that is stopping you from realizing your dreams. There IS something else:

Your abhorrence towards Hard Work

When it comes to realizing something hard and worthwhile, the people who use the word “Impossible” are usually the ones who don’t succeed, and they have 2 things in common:

  1. They DESPISE working hard.
  2. They LOVE daydreaming. (which would’ve been fine if only they didn’t despise hard-work)

But the Impossible thing about this all, it’s not even the word itself.

It’s the mindset you have, the “Impossibility Mindset” that you have engrained into the depths of your psyche, that is stopping you from even REMOTELY considering the thought that maybe, you can really do what you want to do.

But no.

You’re programmed by society’s standards of what is possible and what’s not. Your friends, family and loved ones all say so, to leave it be, that is not realistic.

But at some point in time you REALLY believed it was possible, right? that just means that the thought of it being impossible it’s not yours, after all. Is something you picked up while cruising through life and that just happened to set itself in stone because of some failures you experienced…

BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE YOUR REALITY.

The process behind this is simple, but overcomplicated:

  • Reject the impossibility of whatever you’re after, along with the word “Impossible”.
  • Understand that “Impossible” is just an inflated, enormous and misused word for something that did not took place YET.
  • Work so hard and smart until your goals are finally reality.

Exactly like I did, You too can remove the very meaning of that word from your life if you’re willing to decide so and reject the common standards that are forced onto you.

Take care,

And if you liked this post, please take the time to share it with people and friends.

Photo by sebastiaan stam on Unsplash

 

Their Perception of You

Today I’ve stumbled upon a tweet that gave me the idea of sharing this thought with you, it’s not a topic which I discuss much, but it falls in the same category of my topics anyway.

So fuck it.

Have you ever felt that you didn’t care about what others thought, at first, about you?

But suddenly, at some point…you started questioning whether people liked you or not? whether the one who they’re talking about behind your back is you after all?

This happens for a multitude of reasons, in a circle of friends as example, maybe you started to like their company and you’re concerned about how they feel about you.

Maybe you are not the most “open” of individuals when it comes to your feelings and this made you question if you actually made a genuine connection with them.

Or maybe you’re just a damn snitch.

Whatever the case might be, it’s not always their fault like it’s not always yours.

But Perception is something that CAN be manipulated and shaped, when you first start to know someone. The first impression others have of you, after all, is something you can control, and that’s why you should take it into consideration.

The thing is that a lot of people when it comes to their first impression act in two different, distinct ways:

  1. They put on a facade.
  2. They’re actually themselves.

You usually don’t want to go for the first one if you’re trying to build a genuine connection. Because if you’re putting on a Mask and later on can’t be consistent with what you first gave others…that is going to result in people NOT trusting you.

Being yourself instead can go both ways. Either they like you for who you are, or they don’t.

If they know who you are from the start, uncertainties and bad feelings between each other are not AS important.

What if you’re not very direct, and can’t express yourself with people instead? THAT is when problems with their Perception arise.

You’ll be categorized as weird, because you haven’t made your position very clear, and this might tick off a lot of people. Mistaking your lack of social skills\interaction with an “air of superiority”. This can lead to awful social consequences, especially in a group you’re forced to be in (school, work, ecc..).

Perception is set in stone. Once you give off a certain vibe, you can hardly change it later on.

That’s why I believe that the “Don’t Care what others think” mindset is a flawed one. Sure, you shouldn’t concern yourself with their thoughts and you should go your own way, but ignoring COMPLETELY how others perceive you could have disastrous consequences and it’s not very smart.

Navigating a smoothER sea is better than sailing a stormy one, so don’t do yourself a disservice since this could affect your “inner path” as well, not just how others see you.

That’s all. I hope this helped you in some way. If it did, share it with your friends. You’ll be doing me a solid.
Take care.